Essential Legal Advice for Courtroom Talk

Effective Courtroom Communication: Avoid Common Pitfalls

What does it mean when you’re on the stand and you just tell the judge, “I just want fairness”?

Hi, my name is Carl Birkhead. I’m a Tulsa family law attorney with Wirth Law Office in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’ve been practicing family and criminal law for almost eight years now, and I want to help make law easy by talking a little bit about what to say—and what not to say—when you’re on the stand.

Common Courtroom Phrases

There are certain phrases I hear over and over again, both in family law and criminal cases. They’re common, but they don’t help much in court. One of the most common is: “I just want fairness. I just want everything to be fair.”

The problem is, fairness is subjective. My idea of fair and your idea of fair may look completely different. If we’re splitting a pizza, my idea of fair might be three-quarters for me, while yours is three-quarters for you. Unless you explain why you think that division is fair—maybe you know the other person just ate a whole pizza, or maybe you haven’t eaten all day—the judge doesn’t know your reasoning. So instead of saying “I want fairness,” be specific. Tell the judge exactly what you want and why.

The Importance of Specificity

Another phrase I hear too often is: “They’re crazy. They’re absolutely insane. They’re bipolar.” Please, do not use the “C word” in court—crazy. Don’t use terms like insane, bipolar, or schizophrenic unless you’re a licensed professional qualified to give that diagnosis, or unless you have medical records or a therapist prepared to testify. Otherwise, you’re not qualified to use those terms, and the other attorney will immediately object and undermine your credibility.

Instead, describe the behavior. Was the other parent acting erratically? Did they have sudden mood swings? Did they show anger issues or unpredictable outbursts? Stick to facts and observations, not labels. The court can conclude without you trying to play armchair psychologist.

Keeping Your Testimony Effective

The point is: avoid vague, overused phrases like “I just want fairness,” and avoid unqualified labels like “crazy.” Say what you mean, be specific, and describe what you’ve actually seen or experienced. That gives you the best chance of the court understanding your position and ruling in your favor.

If you have questions about how to prepare for testimony in your case, give me a call. My name is Carl Birkhead. I’m a Tulsa criminal defense attorney with Wirth Law Office, and I want to help you make law easy.

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