Understanding Court Statements in Custody Disputes
“Well, Your Honor, I swear I’m not trying to take the kids away.”
Hi, my name is Carl Birkhead. I’m a Tulsa child custody attorney with Wirth Law Office in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’ve been practicing family and criminal law for eight years now, and I want to talk about how certain things you say in court can backfire—especially when it comes to withholding custody and visitation.
Common Missteps in Custody Disputes
I can’t tell you how many cases I’ve seen where parents give every possible reason why their children shouldn’t be with the other parent. Some reasons are justifiable, some are not. And I’m not here to cast blame—custody disputes are high-stress, emotional situations. But often, I’ll hear a parent say, “I’m not trying to take the kids away. I just have concerns.” The problem is, unless those concerns are backed up, withholding visitation looks exactly like taking the kids away.
Under Title 43, Oklahoma law allows you to withhold visitation if you believe your child would suffer irreparable harm—for example, abuse or neglect. But you must be able to justify it. You can’t simply say, “I have a bad feeling” or “my instincts tell me something is wrong.” You must explain your concerns clearly and support them with evidence.
The Importance of Evidence in Custody Cases
That means describing specific behaviors or conditions. Are the kids coming back dirty? With lice? Talking about drugs in the home? Reporting physical abuse? These are concrete issues the court can consider. Without that, it’s just speculation.
I once had a case where a mother refused visitation because her baby—just nine months old—became “anxious” before visits. She insisted that meant something terrible was happening at Dad’s house. DHS investigated, drug tests came back clean, and no evidence supported her fears. Still, she withheld visits, claiming she wasn’t trying to take the child away, just protect them. Unfortunately, the court didn’t see it that way, and her actions nearly cost her custody entirely.
Legal Guidance and Support
The lesson is this: it doesn’t matter what you say your intentions are. What matters is what your actions show and whether you can justify them with clear, specific, and provable reasons. If it looks like you’re interfering with the parent-child relationship, you could lose custody.
If you have concerns about visitation, this is very serious. Do not take chances. Get legal advice before acting. My name is Carl Birkhead. I’m a Tulsa family law attorney with Wirth Law Office, and I want to help you make law easy.
Schedule Your Strategy Session Today
If you need guidance on custody and visitation issues, take the first step towards resolution. Contact me at 918-879-1681 for a low-cost initial strategy session. Let’s work together to understand and protect your rights.
