Understanding Ethical Boundaries in Custody Disputes
My ex asked me to sign a custody order her attorney drafted without going through my lawyer. Is that lawyer guilty of an ethical violation?
I’m Tulsa family law attorney James Wirth, and that’s the question we received. This comes from a family law case in Oklahoma involving a custody dispute. It sounds like the other side’s attorney drafted a proposed order, but instead of sending it through the questioner’s attorney, it was handed to the opposing party and then delivered directly to him.
Exploring Ethical Concerns in Legal Communications
This raises a question about Rule 4.2 of the Oklahoma Rules of Professional Conduct, which is common in many states. The rule says: “In representing a client, a lawyer shall not communicate about the subject of the representation with a person the lawyer knows to be represented by another lawyer in the matter, unless the lawyer has the consent of the other lawyer or is authorized to do so by law or court order.”
So, if the person’s attorney gave consent, then it’s fine. But assuming that didn’t happen here, is it a violation if the attorney uses their client as a go-between? I’d say probably not. The rule is meant to prevent attorneys from using their training to persuade or pressure someone who already has representation. If the communication is filtered through the parties themselves, it usually doesn’t rise to the level of an ethical violation.
Common Practices in Family Law
In practice, this kind of thing happens often in family law. It’s not unusual for the parties themselves to discuss possible agreements—even if one side’s attorney drafted the paperwork. Sometimes that can actually help move cases forward.
Of course, if you feel uncomfortable with that arrangement—especially if there’s a history of abuse or domestic violence—you can set a boundary and insist that all communications go only through the attorneys. That’s a reasonable step to take if you want to avoid direct pressure.
Consult a Legal Expert for Personalized Advice
So, to answer the question: I don’t believe this scenario amounts to an ethical violation. It’s fairly common in practice. But if you’d prefer not to handle communications this way, you can put up a wall and require that everything be routed through your lawyer.
Low-Cost Initial Strategy Session
As always, don’t rely solely on general information from a video. For advice specific to your situation, speak with a Tulsa child custody attorney privately and confidentially. To schedule a consultation with my office, visit MakeLawEasy.com or call 918-879-1681.
